Jersey Shore Beach Etiquette: 15 Things Not to Do on the Beach

Jersey Shore Beach Etiquette: 15 Things Not to Do on the Beach

We’re very thankful to live at the Jersey Shore, a vacation destination that has so much to offer, including beautiful beaches. Unfortunately, since the beach attracts so many people, there are bound to be a few people who aren’t well versed in how we roll at the beach. Too many people simply have no Jersey Shore beach etiquette!

We’re not saying that everyone we’ve encountered on the beach this summer has been rude. It’s just that we’ve witnessed more than our fair share of head scratching behavior. It inspired us to write our guide to Jersey Shore beach etiquette.

Don’t be “that guy” (or girl). Here’s our Top 15 list of things not to do on the Jersey Shore!

And after spending a day at the beach, we’re sure you’ll be hungry — hit up one of our favorite Jersey shore oceanfront restaurants!

1. “Ohh look at the seagull, I bet he’s hungry.” Said no sane person over the age of 13. Kindly do us all a favor and don’t feed the seagulls!

2. When you get to the beach, be mindful when you pick a spot! Put bluntly, don’t sit on top of someone else! Give your beach neighbors a little room to breathe. 

And if the beach isn’t crowded, don’t sit directly in front of someone and block their ocean view; especially if you plan on erecting a camping tent! There’s nothing worse than the tent family who seemingly always land between you and your ocean view.

3. “I wish someone would come up and talk to me.” Said no single girl ever as she sits alone on the beach!

That attractive girl sitting by herself and reading a book or magazine has ZERO interest in talking to you! None! Especially when you’re 20 years her elder. To the single older guys out there, don’t be a creeper and strike up friendly chit-chat with the solo beach girl!

4. Everyone loves the ease of spray on sunblock. It goes on easy and covers well. You know who doesn’t love spray on sunblock? The guy sitting downwind from you eating a sandwich, who now has a sunblock flavored sub. Spray your sunblock on you, not your neighbors.

5. You’re young and in love, but no one on the beach wants to see you round second base! And no matter how good of a job you think you’re doing concealing it, everybody nearby is onto you. So please do us all a favor, and no aggressive PDA’s on the beach!

6. You’re lying there in your Costco Tommy Bahama chair and you hear a commotion. Next thing you know, the pole end of an umbrella is making a b-line for your jugular. Luckily, its zips right by you and lands three towels away. Meanwhile, the umbrella owner trounced over your area trying to recover said umbrella. All of this could have been avoided by properly securing your umbrella. You’re at the beach, it’s windy. Sticking an 8 foot umbrella 4 inches into the sand is a recipe for disaster.

7. You know that song you love so much? The one you built you’ve played on Spotify close to a thousand times. Guess what, no one wants to hear it!

Seriously, no one! Turn down your radio! No one outside your group should ever hear your music; especially when it’s coming out of a crumby $45 Bluetooth speaker.

8. If you’re thinking of smoking, don’t! The last thing anyone wants is to be downwind from your cigarette or cigar. And odds are if you did smoke, you’re probably not going to throw away your butts. We all know that you’re just going to bury them. It’s a blast when our kids are playing in the sand and uncover your butt collection.

9. Speaking of garbage, if it blows away… chase it! It’s not just going to magically disappear just because your empty bag of Doritos blew 100 yards down the beach. You know what’s terrible, being on the receiving end of a loose piece of garbage that hits you.

10. “Ohh Liam is a great swimmer, he’ll be fine in the ocean. The lifeguards will watch him.” Don’t be that social mom who’d rather gossip with her girlfriends instead of watching her kids in the ocean. The lifeguards aren’t your babysitters, watch your kids when they’re in the ocean.

The same holds true for when your on the sand. There’s nothing better than having a few jerk kids run around and kick sand all over everyone within ten feet of you.

11. Don’t be “that guy.” Kindly inform your bro’s that the last thing that ANYONE wants to hear is your boys yelling and cursing! If you and your crew want to be loud gregarious party guys, take it to the far end of the beach or a beach bar. Seriously, no one wants to hear you yell and curse, no matter how cool you think you may sound. 

12. “Ohh you got Can Jam?!?! Let’s set that up right here!” Odds are, that’s the worst idea around. Do every beach-goer around a favor and don’t play beach games near people. We all know that your boy Mikey has stone hands and we’re going to get hit with an errant Frisbee or football. It’s even worse when a wild throw serves as your pick up line.

13. We’re pretty confident that a former NJ Governor would agree with us on this one; leave the drone at home! Flying a drone over a crowded beach is pretty much viewed as a creepy invasion of privacy these days. 

14. Ohh look a fisherman – “ya get anything?” To most surf fisherman, you’ll hear this question 90 times a day, and it’s exhausting. You’ve been sitting 20 feet from me for two hours now. “If I ‘got something’, you’d know and odds are you and every other person nearby will be crowding me when I land a fish!” Leave the fisherman alone and more importantly, don’t swim near their lines!

15. Lastly, use common sense and don’t shake the sand off your towel near anyone. This is quite possibly the most common sense etiquette issue out there, yet EVERY time we’re at the beach we get peppered by sand from a towel shaker. Please stop. Thanks you

After you leave the beach, you’re probably going to be hungry. Use our Top 25 Waterfront Restaurants as a guide on some of our favorite waterside restaurants!